Cap’n Jack loves to fly and sail and eat and drink…preferably in a foreign country. His travels have brought him all over the world, and he has tried to capture a sense of those wonderful places through some of his cocktail recipes. Don’t wimp out and use canned or frozen fruit juices – you will be well rewarded by using only fresh lime, orange, pineapple, and grapefruit juice (leave the pulp in the drink!). Here are a few of his own recipes:

The Covitini-Vaccini-Martini

Cap’n Jack created this for a company sales meeting awards banquet for those who have wrongly convinced themselves that they don’t like rum drinks.  He think that this is a gin drink that would be at home in the hands of his good friend and fellow author Somerset Maugham, whom still shares cocktails with Cap’n Jack at the Long Bar in the Raffles Hotel in Singapore:

2 oz gin

1 ½ oz pineapple juice

1 oz fresh squeezed lime juice

½ oz simple syrup

2 dashes of Angostura bitters

1 handful of ice cubes

Combine all ingredients in a cocktail shaker and shake like crazy, and then shake it some more.  Besides chilling, aerating, and diluting the drink, you are foaming up the pineapple juice.  Pour it into a pre-chilled cocktail glass and shake the shaker to get all the pineapple foam out.  A cocktail strainer may help here.  Alternately, you can pour everything, ice cubes included, into a cocktail tumbler.

S/V Walden

Cap’n Jack has a new sailboat, and this one is his best yet. Why you ask? As the picture on the right shows, built in to the boat is the most essential sailing safety equipment made:   a teak bottle rack! No longer will Cap’n Jack have to worry that stormy seas and high winds will harm his precious cargo! It was while anchored in one of Cap’n Jack’s favorite anchorages that he realized that while he had only a small portion of his usual bar stock available, he had everything on board to create a great new drink for his new boat. The secret is quality rum…this is a very “rum-forward” cocktail.

1/2 oz Lemon Hart 151 rum (Hamilton 151 is also good, but NOT Bacardi 151!)

1/2 oz Meyers dark rum (Appleton Estate also works)

1/2 oz Havana Club gold rum (or substitute Zaya Gran Reserva, Rhum Barbancourt, or Cruz will do too)

1/2 oz Havana Club silver rum (or substitute Cruzan, or even Bacardi if you must)

3/4 oz simple sugar (Cap’n Jack makes his from organic golden Demerara sugar in a 1:1 ratio)

3/4 oz fresh pineapple juice (hard to get, but worth it)

3/4 oz fresh lime juice (NO, you may NOT use juice from the little plastic lime!)

1 dash Angostura Bitters (Fee Brothers is also good – experiment with different brands)

Unlike most of Cap’n Jack’s cocktails, this drink is so easy to make you could mix it in a tropical hurricane. Put everything in a glass with crushed ice. Done. The secret to this drink is the combination of four very tasty rums. Want to make it better? Put it in a shaker and let the motion of the boat mix everything up until the shaker gets frosted. Pour into your favorite Tiki mug, utter a quote from Henry David Thoreau (“Most men lead lives of quiet desperation” is Cap’n Jack’s favorite), spill a little over the side to appease Poseidon, and down the rest while marveling at the fact that you created liquid paradise while anchored in your own paradise.

The Christmas Bird

You might expect a Christmas drink to have eggnog in it, but Cap’n Jack has never found any south of the equator where he likes to sail. But there is a recipe that is suited for a tropical Christmas:  The Christmas Bird. Allegedly a modification of The Jungle Bird from the Aviary Bar in the Kuala Lumpur Hilton in Malaysia, it could just as likely be Cap’n Jack’s habit of giving winter “the bird” while dreaming of warmer weather.

1/2 oz “blackstrap” rum

1 1/2 oz dark Jamaican rum

3/4 oz Campari

1/2 oz fresh squeezed lime juice

3/4 oz simple sugar

2 oz unsweetened pineapple juice

2 dashes Fee Brothers Orange Bitters

A less sweet version of the original Jungle Bird, this recipe reduces the pineapple juice, changes a few ingredient ratios, and adds blackstrap rum. Gosling’s Black Seal rum is the most popular brand of blackstrap rum, and combined with ginger beer, it is used in their signature “Dark ‘n Stormy” recipe. Cruzan and others also make blackstrap rums, and they all have very strong flavors, especially if you are used to lighter rums…a little goes a long way in most drinks. If you don’t have blackstrap rum, substitute your darkest rum, or mix it up and try cognac, bourbon, or brandy (still at only 1/2 oz). Combine all ingredients and crushed ice in a cocktail shaker and shake until it frosts. Pour into your favorite Tiki mug, give winter the bird, drink, and dream of tropical beaches and swaying palm trees.

The Grinchectomy

Cap’n Jack has long been known as a bit of a Grinch, having snuck through the last five Christmas holidays without putting up a single decoration. Often called Cap’n Humbug, this year he decided to attempt a compromise…instead of killing a poor, defenseless, innocent tree and turning it into a fire hazard with cheap Chinese-made lights, he is offering a cocktail that is sure to both un-Scrooge and un-Grinch even the coldest heart (i.e. Cap’n Jack’s heart) and bring some non-overcommercialized Christmas cheer in a form that might even give Cap’n Jack a “Grinchectomy!”

2 oz bourbon (rye or wheat whiskey will also work)

3/4 oz fresh squeezed orange juice

1/2 oz fresh squeezed lime juice (try it with lemon juice as well)

1/2 oz falernum

1 dash Angostura bitters

This is a very uncomplicated drink, so every ingredient counts…don’t skimp on the fresh squeezed juices – these make or break the drink. Combine all ingredients in cocktail shaker, add crushed ice, and shake it like you used to shake the presents under your Christmas tree. Strain it into a pre-chilled cocktail (i.e. martini) glass. Cut a strip of the rind from the orange you used for the fresh squeezed orange juice (you did use a fresh orange for your juice, didn’t you…Santa’s watching you know…), give it a twist, and wipe the rim of the cocktail glass with the rind. Drop it in the glass, give your favorite Christmas toast, and enjoy it (and your family and friends with whom you are hopefully sharing the holiday).

Rainy Luau

Cap’n Jack has become known for his summer luaus, and 2015 was no exception. Unfortunately, after the mildest winter in memory and the hottest and driest summer since the dust bowl, this year’s luau saw the temperature drop faster than his guests after their third cocktail. A usual sunny outdoor luau turned into an indoor version, at one point even requiring the fireplace to be turned on (for heat, not for pagan island rituals!). In an attempt to make tiki drinks out of lemons, Cap’n Jack punted with this interesting combo of flavors.

1 oz fresh lemon juice

1 oz fresh orange juice

1 oz fresh pineapple juice

1/2 oz passion fruit syrup or puree

1/2 oz vanilla syrup

1/4 oz pimento allspice dram

1 oz white rum

1 oz gold rum

1/2 oz dark rum

Fresh means fresh swabbie, so no cheating with lemon juice from little plastic lemons or orange juice from a can! If you must (and if you don’t have a juicer), buy your pineapple juice in a can, but the lemon and orange juice MUST be fresh squeezed to get the most out of this. The vanilla syrup is the same stuff Seattle people use to make their coffee taste like “Not Coffee,” but the passion fruit syrup or puree is a bit harder to come by. It is a key ingredient to many of Cap’n Jack’s recipes, so if you are a fan of these overly complicated concoctions, by all means head down to your Super Duper Big Box Liquor Store and get a bottle. Another oddball ingredient is the pimento allspice dram. This is NOT the same kind of pimento stuffed into your cocktail olive…it is more akin to allspice, clove, cinnamon, and vanilla that makes any drink seem like the perfect winter cocktail – it really warms it up. The rest is simple – combine everything in a cocktail shaker with lots of crushed ice, then shaka-shaka-shaka till you can’t stand the chill, pour into your perfect tiki mug and serve.

CAP’N JACK’S BIRTHDAY GROG

You only turn 50 once, so Cap’n Jack spent his special day sailing between the Tahitian islands of Raiatea, Taha’a, and Bora Bora. The perfect trade winds, the exotic vistas, the spectacular ocean colors, and the sound of the surf pounding on the coral reef plus an always present scent from the islander’s vanilla farms inspired this original cocktail.  And then, without warning or approval from Cap’n Jack, he turned 55.  His only logical next step was to update his Birthday Grog with a few twists to the original recipe. (Updated June 2015)

1 oz fresh lime juice

1 oz fresh pineapple juice

1/2 oz passion fruit puree

1 dash Angostura bitters

1 oz dark Jamaican rum

1 oz gold Puerto Rican rum

1 pinch fresh ground Tahitian vanilla bean

Combine everything except the ground Tahitian vanilla bean in a cocktail shaker with crushed ice. Shaka-shaka-shaka and then pour into a Tiki mug and add a pinch of ground Tahitian vanilla bean (available at your local Bora Bora vanilla farm) on top.  Not near a local Bora Bora vanilla farm?  No problem, farms in Raitea and Taha’a also have great vanilla beans available.  They are well worth the sail…

FORBIDDEN VISIT (BUT NOT FOR LONG?)

Cap’n Jack and Fidel are old friends, but there is no way that he would have brought any Cuban rum back with him to make this original recipe, because that would be illegal. That’s his story, and he’s sticking to it. (It is really, really smooth. Or so they say.). This is a recipe that begs for experimentation. Substitute pineapple juice and pieces for mango, papaya, or other tropical fruits. Double up on the mint, swap orange juice for grapefruit juice, or even a (small) dash of passion fruit syrup. (Updated 2/13/15)

1 oz fresh pineapple juice

3 or 4 bite-size pieces of pineapple

½ oz fresh lime juice

¼ oz fresh orange juice

1/2 oz coconut syrup

10 leaves mint leaves

1/2 teaspoon sugar

1/2 dash Angostura bitters

1 glance over both shoulders

2 oz NotFromCubaBecauseThatWouldBeIllegal rum (gold is better than white if you have it)

Muddle 1/2 lime (quartered), 10 mint leaves, pineapple pieces, and sugar together, working to grind the sugar into the lime’s skin to release the lime’s zest. Add the other ingredients, shake well in a cocktail shaker, and pour into a Tiki glass. If you don’t have any NotFromCubaBecauseThatWouldBeIllegal rum, substitute Nicaraguan light rum. And just in case you work for the U.S. government, there are no stamps in Cap’n Jack’s passport that show he has ever been to Cuba and he has memorized the phrase “I cannot recall, Senator.”

UPDATE: You need to get it yourself outside the US of A, but you can now bring in your own Cuban rum!  Finally, politicians prove themselves useful!

THE “OH BEHAAAAVE” COCKTAIL

What? You don’t like rum?? Are you nuts??? Perhaps you haven’t spent enough time in the tropics drinking cocktails on a sailboat while watching a beautiful sunset. Cap’n Jack hopes, for the sake of your eternal soul, that you aren’t one of those washed-up, sold-out, ineffectual middle-management suck-ups sitting in a cubicle dreaming of a the 5 o’clock happy hour at some mega-chain strip mall restaurant. Because if you are, there is a very good chance that you are drinking something as boring as a gin & tonic. You can keep drinking your gin before working up to rum, but we need to start your rehabilitation immediately, so this cocktail is an easy one that probably only requires you to buy one ingredient that you don’t already have.

1 1/2 oz gin

1/2 oz fresh squeezed lime juice

1/2 oz passion fruit puree or syrup

1 oz fresh pineapple juice

1 dash Angostura bitters

A pre-chilled cocktail glass is important to any drink served without ice, so put your glass in the freezer before you start mixing the ingredients. Any decent gin is fine for this cocktail, but don’t skimp on the fresh squeezed lime juice on this or any other drink. No plastic limes! Unless you have an electric juicer (or a lot of patience), it is hard to make your own fresh pineapple juice, so if you don’t already have some, bury your head in shame and head to the grocery store to buy a small container of the canned stuff. While you’re there, pick up some passion fruit puree. This can be hard to come by, so you may have to walk down the coffee aisle and get a bottle of Torani Passion Fruit Syrup. If you have a big box liquor store nearby, you can often find Cap’n Jack’s choice – B.G Reynolds’ Passion Fruit Syrup. Now, combine all ingredients in a cocktail shaker and shake it up using your very best Austin Powers dance moves to do so. Hold onto that frosty shaker until you just can’t stand the cold, and strain the foamy mix into that pre-chilled cocktail glass. This is a cocktail that is a little too easy to drink, so “Behaaaave” and go easy!

THE “YOU PUT THE LIME IN THE COCONUT AND DRINK ‘EM BOTH UP” PUNCH

Influenced by a bizarre song from 1971 by Harry Nilsson (simply called “Coconut,” and yes, oddly enough, that Harry Nilsson), Cap’n Jack thought it fitting to create a tribute to it. Also, during his annual summer luaus at Cap’n Jack’s Tiki Bar (“the party’s not over if someone’s still standing”), Cap’n Jack found that he spends the majority of his time making drinks instead of socializing with his guests. True, they would rather that he make them drinks as opposed to talking to them, but still, Cap’n Jack needs to pace himself when it comes to squeezing limes. So for this summer’s luau, and hopefully for yours as well, he created a labor saving recipe that will make 16 drinks (serves 4).

16 oz fresh lime juice

1 can coconut milk (13.5 oz…and not coconut water or syrup)

16 oz fresh pineapple juice

8 oz fresh orange juice

1 oz simple syrup

32 oz gold rum (Cruzan is great for this recipe)

Because you will not be making this drink one-by-one in a cocktail shaker, you will want to make this in advance so that you can serve it already chilled. Combine all ingredients in a blender (you will need to do this several times in small batches unless you have a REALLY large blender) without ice and blend at the lowest speed possible (the coconut milk tends to clump up unless this is done). Pour everything into a large jar or container and let chill at least 2 hours. When guests arrive, give the mixture another stir using a wire whisk to froth it up, pour it into a large punch bowl, and add just enough ice cubes to keep the mix cold. This drink will need a bit more dilution, so keep a bowl of crushed ice for your guests to use when they fill their Tiki mugs with the cocktail. Don’t forget to create a playlist (you can go to Pandora and listen to the Cap’n Jack’s Tiki Bar station if you like) that includes “Coconut” about every 10th song. Whenever the song comes on, everyone MUST finish their drink, and of course pour themselves another one.

THE LBJ 12

What kind of a name is LBJ 12 for a tiki drink? Here’s two hints:  The “J” stands for “Jack,” and the “12” is not about the Seattle Seahawks “12th Man.” Okay, one more hint:  oh wait, that might give it away. It just might be that the only way to learn the secret to the name is to ply Cap’n Jack with a bottle ‘o rum (to quote those who like to sing “Yo Ho Ho and a” as part of their nightly drinking chanties) or at the very least, a tiki mug (or two) of an LBJ 12.

1 oz fresh squeezed orange juice (save a piece of the peel)

1/2 oz pineapple juice

1 oz fresh squeezed lime juice

1/2 oz fresh squeezed lemon juice

1 oz simple sugar

1/2 oz orgeat syrup

1/2 oz falernum

1/4 oz passion fruit syrup

1 oz Puerto Rican light rum

1 oz Jamaican dark rum

1 oz brandy (cognac in a pinch)

1 oz gin

4 dashes orange bitters

1 dash Angustura bitters

Although there are 13 ingredients for this drink, it is very easy to make, and it is likely that with the exception of orgeat (sometimes sold as almond syrup, found in the coffee isle of your grocery store), falernum, passion fruit syrup (useful for lots of other drinks) and orange bitters, most people will have everything else that they need to make this tasty drink. The falernum is very important to this drink, and you can get it at your local Bevmo or other large, warehouse liquor store. Combine everything into a cocktail shaker with lots of crushed ice, and add a curly shaving of orange peel. Hang on…better make two of them. Wait, you’re having this with someone who is smooch-worthy, aren’t you? Better make four of them. And stay tuned…Cap’n Jack is still experimenting with this cocktail, and is trying to find the best ratio of Fireball to add to it. Why Fireball? Cap’n Jack is NOT telling that part of the story!

TAMARIND TORNADO

There is nothing in the world quite like the tamarind tree and, after tasting one of its edible seeds, Cap’n Jack knew he had to create a cocktail to take advantage of its unique flavor. Originally from equatorial Africa, the tamarind tree has been spread by sailors of yore to everywhere it is hot and humid. Where there are tamarind trees there are also coconuts and pineapples, and so Cap’n Jack combined those three flavors into one of the most unusual Tiki drinks you will ever have. Beware: these go down fast…it is almost impossible to have just two, and not recommended to have three!

1/2 oz fresh lime juice

2 oz Hatian Rhum Barbancourt

1 oz Nicaraguan light rum

1 oz fresh pineapple juice

1/2 oz coconut creme

1 oz simple syrup

1 stalk of fresh mint

1 tsp tamarind paste (you can substitute one oz syrup)

Combine tamarind paste and simple syrup in a cocktail shaker. Shake, shake, shake for all you’re worth. Add lime juice, rum, pineapple juice, and coconut creme to the cocktail shaker and 8 oz of crushed ice. Shake some more until your arm is about to fall off. Besides getting the drink extremely cold, the crushed ice is helping to break up the inevitable clumps of tamarind paste and coconut creme. An additional benefit is that it froths up the pineapple juice and gives the drink a slight carbonated look and feel. The cocktail will be an unsightly brown color, so pour it into a garish Tiki mug, crush a stalk of fresh mint in the palm of your hand,(minimum 15 leaves worth of foliage, all in one stalk is best), put the stalk in the drink on one side of the mug, and drink without a straw from the other side of the mug. Make sure you take a big great whiff of the mint as you raise the Tiki mug to your lips. The combination of flavor and smell is out-of-this-world!

CAPTAIN KEVIN

After a whirlwind 37 year courtship, Kevin finally worked up the courage and asked Marilyn to marry him.  Kevin, who has had less than a dozen cocktails in his life, asked Cap’n Jack to come up with a drink to serve at his reception that even the King of Teetotalers would like.  While no Hemingway, Kevin is certainly the “Old Man and the Sea,” so it seemed fitting to put a twist on Papa’s favorite Cuban invention and sweeten things up to Kevin’s pallet  with pineapple overtones.

1 oz fresh lime juice

1 tsp maraschino liqueur (not the cherry juice)

1/2 oz simple sugar

2 oz light Virgin Island rum

1/2 oz fresh pineapple juice

Combine all ingredients in a cocktail shaker with crushed ice.  Shake and shake and shake; this drink needs to be served very cold.  Strain it into a pre-chilled cocktail (martini) glass, add a garnish of pineapple, and of course, a paper umbrella.

ADMIRAL MARILYN

Kevin may fancy himself a captain, but every captain has an admiral, and his is Admiral Marilyn.  And just like Captain Kevin needs a drink that sweetens up his sourness, so does Admiral Marilyn need a spicy drink to counteract her sweetness.  Also, not everyone likes rum (gasp!), so Cap’n Jack created this recipe with bourbon, and he recommends you have one of each of their wedding reception drinks and see which one you like best.

1/2 oz fresh lime juice

1/2 oz fresh pineapple juice

1/2 oz fresh orange juice

1/2 oz simple syrup

1 1/2 oz Kentucky bourbon

1/2 tsp pomegranate syrup (not one of those corn syrup red dye #2 grenadine syrups!)

1 dash Angostura bitters

Combine all ingredients in a cocktail shaker and add ice cubes.  Shake well, and pour unstrained into a tiki mug, add a pineapple garnish, paper umbrella, and wish the newlyweds the best on their next 37 years together.

AUSSIE CONCUSSION

Australia, with its amazing Sydney Harbor, is one of Cap’n Jack’s favorite sailing ports. The city is a cornucopia of people from all over the world, and this cocktail is a cornucopia of rums from all over the world as well. If there is one thing the Aussies can do, and do well, is drink. They practice this skill with great dedication – so don’t try to outdrink anyone from Down Under unless you have practiced with this cocktail. Over and over and over. (updated 2/28/13)

1 oz fresh lime juice

1 oz fresh orange juice

½ oz fresh pineapple juice

1 oz Grand Marnier (triple sec for you non-purists)

1 oz gold Barbados rum

1 oz Virgin Island coconut rum

1 dollop of CJTB Seafoam

1 dash Angostura Bitters

1 float of Jamaican dark rum

Mix everything in a cocktail shaker except the CJTB Seafoam and the Jamaican dark rum. Shake with ice cubes until well frosted, poor everything into a Tiki mug, add a dollop of CJTB Seafoam, and the float the Jamaican dark rum on top. How much of a float? American = 1/2 oz; Canadian/Britain = 1 oz; Australian = 4 oz.

BALI SOMEDAY

Cap’n Jack has not been to Bali, but it is very high on his bucket list. Until he sets sail again, he has had to contend himself with how he thinks it would be here, and on soggy Northwest nights, this recipe’s spicy pimento liqueur (think allspice, not the red thing in green cocktail olives) makes for an especially good cocktail. (updated 4/8/13)

1 ¼ oz gold Virgin Islands rum

¾ oz fresh lime juice

½ oz pimento liqueur

½ tsp simple syrup

Combine in a cocktail shaker with crushed ice and shake until too cold to hold. Pour into a pre-chilled cocktail (martini style) glass and add a single round ice cube (round ice cube molds available here). Consider adding 1 teaspoon passion fruit syrup instead of the 1/2 teaspoon simple syrup to your second one.

CAMBODIA COOLER

Cap’n Jack’s current favorite Asian country is Cambodia. The people and food are wonderful, the ancient ruins are amazing, and it has one thing that many Asian countries do not have – a westward facing coast, that gives the kind of sunsets that any self-respecting Tiki bar requires. A daily ration of passion fruit for breakfast sealed the deal, so this is his tribute recipe. Passion fruit can be difficult to find, so you can alternate 1/2 oz passion fruit syrup instead and delete the 1/4 oz sugar syrup. (updated 3/6/13)

¾ oz fresh lime juice

¾ oz fresh orange juice

¾ oz fresh pineapple juice

½ oz fresh passion fruit puree

1/4 oz sugar syrup

1 oz dark Jamaican rum

1 oz Puerto Rican 151-proof rum

Mix everything in a cocktail shaker with ice cubes, then pour everything into a Tiki mug. An easy drink for a country that has had a difficult past.

CARGO CULT

During World War 2 on the island of Tanna in the Vanuatu archipelago, primitive islanders observed advanced civilizations coming to their island on the backs of large whales and large birds, bringing all the trappings of modern society. The islanders worshiped these gods, and the “cargo” they brought. In reality, it was Japanese troops, and ultimately U.S. military personnel arriving by ship and airplane, bringing supplies that were occasionally shared with the locals. The observation of this led to the islanders forming Cargo Cults, and the most famous “giver” of cargo was John Frum, who was probably a typical G.I. named John and “Frum” America, and who most likely shared some of the U.S. Navy cargo with the locals. This gave rise to a religious following of people who to this day, build airplane replicas and search the skies for the god-like John Frum, who promised to return and bestow upon the natives an unlimited amount of cargo. This cocktail seems to have one of everything, just like a pallet of supplies from the great whale must have had when it was offloaded from the ship to the island. My suggestion is that you make one and share it with the natives. (Updated 5/15/13)

1 oz fresh lime juice

1 oz fresh grapefruit juice

1 oz fresh orange juice

1 oz fresh pineapple juice

1 oz coconut syrup

1 oz light Puerto Rican rum

1 oz gold Nicaraguan rum

2 oz Guyana Demerara rum

1 tsp falernum

1 tsp pimento liqueur

6 drops Pernod

2 dashes Angostura bitters

10 oz crushed ice

This is a BIG drink. Combine everything in a large cocktail shaker, add crushed ice, and shake it like you are trying to defend yourself from primitive tribesmen. When your hand is frozen to the shaker, pour into a Tiki mug, garnish with a slice of pineapple, and prepare to fall asleep within the next 90 minutes. Allegedly, there are rumors of those who have had more than one and lived to tell the tale.

GREEN WIZ FIZ

One of Cap’n Jack’s first creations, this is a too-easy-to-drink cocktail that required another (and another). Inspired by his eternal quest to witness the elusive green flash, Cap’n Jack created this drink while anchored in the Bahamas, where mixers were more expensive than spirits.

1 oz fresh lime juice

1 oz lime syrup

2 oz Bahamas light rum (or 3 oz) (or maybe 4 oz)

1 oz CJTB Seafoam

Add everything but the CJTB Seafoam into a cocktail shaker with crushed ice and shake until well frosted. Pour into a Tiki mug and add the CJTB Seafoam. Blow your conch shell as the upper limb of the sun (that’s celestial navigation stuff) disappears below the horizon and hopefully brings on the Green Flash, and ultimately twilight and the Southern Cross.

GUAVA LAVA PUNCH

You can purchase fresh guavas from family farms on the back roads of Hawaii, but it is the pairing with coconut and pineapple that transforms these fruits into the perfect compliments for a Tiki drink. When Cap’n Jack tasted the combination, he worked and worked (and sampled and sampled) to create this unique cocktail. If you prefer a more fruit-forward drink with less of strong, dark rum overtones, this is a good intro to the world of rum cocktails. (updated 5/18/13)

2 oz guava nectar

3/4 oz fresh pineapple juice

¾ oz fresh lime juice

2½ oz Virgin Islands coconut rum

2 dashes Fee’s Brothers West Indian Orange Bitters

1/2 oz float 151-proof Guyana Demerara rum

1 dollop of frothed coconut milk

Combine crushed ice and all ingredients into a cocktail shaker except the frothed coconut milk. Shake until well chilled, pour into a Tiki mug, float the 151-proof rum (NOT Bacardi 151 – use another regular proof DARK rum if you don’t have the great molasis-flavored stuff from Guyana) and top with a dollop of frothed coconut milk. The coconut milk (not coconut water) can be frothed with an egg whip or a hand blender.

HALEKULANI COCKTAIL

Not one of Cap’n Jack’s, but one which he wished he had created. Not all Tiki drinks are made from rum, and not all Tiki bars are primitive beach shacks run by burned-out mainlanders. The classiest place for a Tiki drink in Oahu is at The House Without A Key lounge at the Halekulani Hotel on Waikiki Beach. Cap’n Jack has a soft spot for this place, and always grabs a drink there before heading home to the Mainland.

½ oz fresh pineapple juice

½ oz fresh lemon juice

½ oz fresh orange juice

1 ½ oz Kentucky bourbon

½ tsp pomegranate syrup (not grenadine, you hoale!)

1 dash Angostura bitters

Combine all ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice cubes. Shake until very, very painfully cold in your hand. Pour everything into a clear glass, observe the wonderful color and hue, and sip happily. This cocktail is for those who prefer their Tiki drinks a little less sweet. Try and find real pomegranate syrup, not grenadine, as most grenadines are just corn syrup and red dye. Ick.

INDIAN MONSOON

Another one of Cap’n Jack’s few blender drinks. Indian weddings are not to be missed if you can wrangle an invitation, but you will be hot, Hot, HOT! This drink, like an Indian wedding, is meant to be shared, and while it is a cold drink, you will also see that it has a little something that makes it a hot drink as well. (Updated 5/24/13)

1 oz fresh orange juice

1 oz fresh lime juice

1 oz fresh mango juice

1 oz sugar syrup

2 oz dark Jamaican rum

1 oz English gin

1 oz French brandy or Cognac

1/2 oz orgeat syrup

Combine everything in a blender, then add 8 oz of crushed ice and blend for only 5 seconds. Add additional ice cubes into a volcano bowl (available here). Pour drink into the volcano bowl, add every paper umbrellas, orchid, swizzle sticks, fancy straws, etc. that you have, and add cheap (i.e., Bacardi 151) high-proof rum to the center volcano crater. Update your home’s fire insurance, then light the 151-proof rum in the volcano while two or more people drink from VERY long straws. After finishing the volcano bowl, blow out the fire on the volcano and drink that too.

(You didn’t really drink the burnt volcano rum, did you? You did? Remind me to call you “Sir” from now on.)

SINGAPORE SPICE RACK

Cap’n Jack almost moved to Singapore once, and can become very nostalgic about that missed opportunity when he has this original recipe drink. Singapore’s melting pot of people, food, and spices from all over Asia make it one of the most interesting ports he has visited.

¾ oz fresh lime juice

¾ oz sugar syrup

½ oz maraschino liqueur

1½ oz gold Virgin Island rum

½ tsp Pernod

3 drops coconut extract

1 float Jamaican dark rum

Combine everything into a cocktail shaker with lots of crushed ice. Be careful not to add too much Pernod or it will dominate the drink. Pour into a pre-chilled cocktail glass and add just a dash of Jamaican dark rum for a float on top.

THAI WRAP

Ahhh, Thailand. Few places have better fruit, or a naughtier nightlife. Cap’n Jack has sampled both, and it was during one night’s stumble that he bought a bowl of mango and sticky rice for dessert. One thing led to another (as things tend to do in Thailand), and he ended up creating this concoction. Drink three or four of these, walk the streets of any of Thailand’s seedier sections (I know, how do you choose from such a long and distinguished list?), and see what kind of trouble you can get into.

1 oz mango nectar

1 oz fresh pineapple juice

½ oz fresh lemon juice

½ oz Triple Sec (Grand Marnier is better for this if you have it, but this is Thailand, so “close enough” is “good enough.”)

2 oz Virgin Islands white rum

1 oz Virgin Islands coconut rum

Thailand is known as “the land of Almost Right,” and so it is with this drink – there is plenty of room for error. The most important part is the coconut rum (friends don’t let friends drink Malibu coconut rum), so try and find Cruzan rum. In fact, if you only stock one brand of rum, be it light, gold, or dark, make this Virgin Island brand your go-to rum, as it is a better alternative to Bacardi, Captain Morgan, or other more popular rums. Combine everything into a cocktail shaker and shake and shake and shake until your hand is firmly attached to the shaker the same way that Ralphie’s tongue was attached to the frozen pole in “A Christmas Story.” Pour into a tiki mug and start making your next one. But be careful…this drink, like so many other things in Thailand, goes down quickly.

VIETNAMESE MISH MASH

One of Cap’n Jack’s more complicated recipes, and one of his few “blender drinks.” After a hot and sweaty day up a river outside of Hanoi, he overheard a trio from three different Caribbean Islands arguing in broken English with a Vietnamese bartender on the proper temperature to serve the local beer. The moment inspired what Cap’n Jack wanted then – a very, very cold drink with different types of rums from different Caribbean islands and lots of local fruit. (updated 4/7/13)

1 oz fresh lime juice

¾ oz fresh orange juice

¾ oz fresh pineapple juice

½ oz passion fruit syrup

¼ oz falernum

1 oz Virgin Islands white rum

1 oz gold Nicaraguan rum

¾ oz dark Jamaican rum

1 dash Angostura bitters

1 float 151-proof Guyana Demerara rum if you won’t be driving for a few days

Electricity is not always easy to find in Vietnam, and blenders are even harder to find, but this drink is well worth it. Combine everything into a blender except the 151-proof Guyana Demerara rum, add 8 ounces of crushed ice, and blend for 5 seconds. Pour into a Tiki mug, and then float the 151-proof Demerara rum on top.